Fear: An Unexpected Indicator

When I was younger, fear felt like the enemy. It was the thing that kept me awake at night, the knot in my stomach before a big decision, the voice whispering, you can’t do this. I thought fear was a warning sign that I should stop, turn back, or play it safe.

Fear made me second-guess myself. It convinced me that if I felt it, it meant I wasn’t ready, or that I wasn’t strong enough. And so often, I listened. I let fear shrink me. I let it keep me small.

But as I’ve gotten older, my relationship with fear has changed. I don’t see it as something to conquer anymore. I don’t believe in “getting rid of fear.” Instead, I’ve learned to see it as an indicator. A signal. A quiet invitation to pause, look closer, and ask myself what’s really going on.

Fear Isn’t Always What It Seems

The tricky thing about fear is that it rarely shows up in obvious ways. Sometimes it wears disguises. It might look like procrastination. It might sound like self-doubt. It might feel like perfectionism, this sense that you can’t move forward until everything is flawless.

For years, I thought these were flaws in me. I thought they meant I wasn’t disciplined enough or confident enough. But over time, I started to notice a pattern: fear often arrived when I was standing on the edge of something important. It wasn’t weakness—it was a sign that growth was waiting for me on the other side.

From Barrier to Guide

These days, I don’t ask, how can I get rid of fear? Instead, I ask, what is fear pointing me toward?

Sometimes it points me toward something I deeply care about, a project, a conversation, a new chapter in my life. The presence of fear often means that what’s in front of me matters.

Other times, it’s showing me that I’m about to step outside of the familiar and into the unknown. And as uncomfortable as that is, I know that’s where transformation happens.

Fear hasn’t disappeared from my life. It still shows up before the big leaps and sometimes even the small ones. The difference is, I don’t hand it the steering wheel anymore. When it arrives, I pause and meet it with curiosity. I ask:

• Is this fear here to protect me, or to guide me?

• Am I unsafe—or just uncomfortable because I’m growing?

• What would happen if I stepped forward with fear, instead of waiting for it to disappear?

When I reframe it like this, fear shifts from being a barrier to being a compass.

Fear as a Green Light

For most of my life, I thought fear was a stop sign. Now I see it more like a green light. It doesn’t mean turn around. More often than not, it means this is the direction to go.

Think about the moments in your life where fear was present: the job you weren’t sure you could take, the relationship you were afraid to open your heart to, the dream you doubted you were “ready” for. In so many of those moments, fear wasn’t telling you to stop. It was telling you: pay attention, this matters.

Why This Matters

We all feel fear. It’s part of being human. The real shift comes when we stop seeing fear as a threat and start seeing it as information. When we learn to sit with it, listen to it, and allow it to guide us, fear becomes less of an obstacle and more of a teacher.

And this is exactly what Mt and I will be diving into on our podcast this October. We’re dedicating episodes to fear—exploring the different types of fear, how they show up in our lives, and how to use fear as a guide rather than something to silence. We’ll talk about the fears that hold us back, the fears that disguise themselves as control, and the fears that point us toward our deepest truths.

An Invitation

So the next time fear rises in your chest before you take a step forward, try pausing. Instead of assuming it means stop, ask yourself: What is fear showing me?

Fear may just be the clearest indicator that you are exactly where you’re meant to be.

Catch our October episodes of The Helen & Mt Podcast, where we go deeper into this conversation on fear and share ways to navigate it as an ally, not an enemy.